DaD

Saturday, May 20, 2006

He looks so weak, so vulnerable. It has never occour to me that he will depend on me! Like that he did last night. Not even when his mommy past away. I saw and experienced the most helpless dad whom is in great pain last night. I don't know what to do. My mind was in a state of blankness!

He suddently woke up and appeared beside me. i though he is going to say the same old thing. I'm prepare to reply:" Ann La~~~ I'll turn to my bed soon. Can u don't disturb me now!" But i didn't get the chance to reply. The person who i always depend on is rolling in Great Pain in front of me!

Why? How? What's wrong? I'm stunned! Mommy is not at HOME.

I'm really scare! I try comfort him at first thinking it will be fine soon. No! It didn't! The pain seems to eat him up at a faster pace. I finally talk. " what i suppose to do now? i don't know? Tell me!" He was struggling with the pain and can't really heard me. I raised my voice higher. No Response again. Panic shodowed over me. Should i call 995? Or Should i call mommy? I'm clueless. " Should i call Ambulance? Should i call Ambulance...." i kept asking. Hoping he will answer me. "YES" it's the first word i heard from me other then those helpless moan. I not sure i heard that " yes " it's too weak. I asked again and again to confirm i heard it. Is it really so serious? I don't Know. I called 995, the line get through before someone answer it. It's dead! What! They suppose to save he why they hung up the phone. Call mom, call mom. She instructed me to bring he to NUH by taxi and get him dressed asap. I followed exactly as she told.

Get him dressed, suppport him down to the main road then jump into the TAXI. He is still moaning. Worst then before. He rolled on the Taxi spacious couch. I'm so near to him seeing him suffer yet doing nothing other than holding on his icey cold hand. I felt so strange to the hand it's no longer the warm hand i hold when i was young though has the same roughness.

Emergency room don't look like emergency room i saw from the Discovery prgramme (ER). Doctor didn't attend to me dad immediately, only a male nurse come over to him into a wheel chair. His too weak to walk by his own. I left him aside. Register him and checking with the nurse at the counter for his turn. " He Fell from the wheelchair to the floor. Why am i so careless! i should have stay with him.

Doctor soon appear after that, pushing him into observation room. Leaving me in the hall to wait. Only knowing that the doctor will attend to him asap and get him injection to stop the pain. A nurse told me it's fine suspected that a stone inside him causing the pain. Times crawl by i see no sight of him. I don't wish to think towards the bad way. I try to contact the outside world. Mom:" it's fine dear u are brave." LinYun, she didn't answer the call cause she got hot stroke and went to bed early. Guofeng, don't know she slp or not. Laoye: his sick recently,don't wish to disturb him. Fuchang, answer me and talk to me till the battery flat and till he walk out from the observation room by his own.
Thanks Fuchang. i don't know how to express me gratitue towards YOU. Thanks!

Dad's fine. They prescripted drugs ( pain killer) for him. Arrange him for a check-up on wedensday. Now dad's still in pain. I truely hope it's no as pain as last night. His drugs is running low fast. I just did what mom told me.

i'm really useless the porridge i cook for dad keep turning up to be burnt. it's the third time i try since 3 hours ago.

Dad please standby me again, i cannot stand and face the world without YOU.
Posted by beetle at 9:26 AM