i don't know YOU!
Monday, May 29, 2006
i felt that the person who is typing this entry is a stranger. i never know her before and i don't wish to know?
Life is so boring, so meaningless. I don't feel the need to go school, to intertain those lecturers. i don't wan to act kuai, i don't wan to act like i love everyone in the lecture grp. i just wan to me, the old me the self-egoistic me.
the greatest dissappointment i got from CPT0505 is that we are not a united class. everyone since to backstab every other, i'm sick of it. we are all hlaf-adults why must we behave in which a childish way. i dont' wan to apologise for the sack of others anymore. i don't wan to be nice from now. i think i'm too naive to treat ppl in my class as grow up. they are simply kids. immautre people.
Anyway why Poly ppl have to fake? i dont' understand. this could be the last time some of us got the chance to study. why not treasure it. why create so many unpleasant memories for one another?
Why we can't be true friends? i know that i'm living in a world full of competitors and competitions? i understand that in order to win you have to sacrifice things. But i don't wish to sacrifice the relationship i bulid up between people.
is my thinking too weird?
i appreciate you fuchang, minghuang and nora to be my best friend and supportors in my poly life thank you guys, i wont' forget you! May all good things fall on you
i love all my galfrenz.
i'm adjusting my life, don't worry about me. i'll be fine one day. if not, i'll choice not to have tomorrow.
Posted by beetle at 7:15 AM
Weekend
Sunday, May 28, 2006
what a wonderful day i have on saturday (27/05/06)
I went out with my galfrenz. they are really a group of great people in my life. i apperciate the time they spend with me.
in the day i went for chinese orchestra extra practice, so fun, i master a piece of percussion music that i really love. "rolling wulnuts" (pls translet to chinese yourselves) dong dong dong ta ta dong dong... lol
i went for Leo club orientation around lunch time. (i got a free lunch) i met new friends and we did alots of activites together. my group is the overall winner. thought there is only 2 groups hahaha..
the evening is the best part of the day. i met up with my dear dear gal frenz. most of them turn up. in the end only gf.weix. joys and me went for movie. 2.10am show :she's the man.
alot fun stuffs happen but i wont' share here. cos it's all in my heart. i love all my galfrenz.. (weix u are in too)
Posted by beetle at 8:51 AM
Him
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Today i did something i never do for a long long time~~~~~~ (since secondary school)
That's cheatting in class test. hahaha~~ it's so exciting.
This major project i believed had involve the whole class. i think this the first time i see my class being so cooperative LMAO (laught my ass off). everyone pass the answer around efficiently and quietly. I do hope my class will be as united and as considerate as this time in the future. Oops of course not cheatting la~~~ Must be in Some positive way. Everyone in the class will only experience POLY life once. I hope we can create great memories together. So when we recall it years down the road at least we have something to laugh about.
Before i enter poly, alot friends used to tell me. Poly is a place where friendship will never last. everyone will be selfish, i was so nervous then. I don't wish to be like that too.
Now... (erm) Am i still the old me? i question!
love is a challenge in life, to be love is a mission, is a adventure. One can never set the goal for love. Love is unpreditable. I hope to be love, Love by only him.
deep in my mind, i know he will never love me. Please just let me love you!
Posted by beetle at 7:02 AM
Limtied Edition Notebook
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Readers this is a really good website if u are interested in buying a notebook.
The designs are very original and colourful! Do visit it yo! Great designs like this seldom come!
Posted by beetle at 8:58 AM
DaD
Saturday, May 20, 2006
He looks so weak, so vulnerable. It has never occour to me that he will depend on me! Like that he did last night. Not even when his mommy past away. I saw and experienced the most helpless dad whom is in great pain last night. I don't know what to do. My mind was in a state of blankness!
He suddently woke up and appeared beside me. i though he is going to say the same old thing. I'm prepare to reply:" Ann La~~~ I'll turn to my bed soon. Can u don't disturb me now!" But i didn't get the chance to reply. The person who i always depend on is rolling in
Great Pain in front of me!
Why? How? What's wrong? I'm stunned! Mommy is not at HOME.
I'm really scare! I try comfort him at first thinking it will be fine soon. No! It didn't! The pain seems to eat him up at a faster pace. I finally talk. " what i suppose to do now? i don't know? Tell me!" He was struggling with the pain and can't really heard me. I raised my voice higher. No Response again. Panic shodowed over me. Should i call 995? Or Should i call mommy? I'm clueless. " Should i call Ambulance? Should i call Ambulance...." i kept asking. Hoping he will answer me. "YES" it's the first word i heard from me other then those helpless moan. I not sure i heard that " yes " it's too weak. I asked again and again to confirm i heard it. Is it really so serious? I don't Know. I called 995, the line get through before someone answer it. It's dead! What! They suppose to save he why they hung up the phone. Call mom, call mom. She instructed me to bring he to NUH by taxi and get him dressed asap. I followed exactly as she told.
Get him dressed, suppport him down to the main road then jump into the TAXI. He is still moaning. Worst then before. He rolled on the Taxi spacious couch. I'm so near to him seeing him suffer yet doing nothing other than holding on his icey cold hand. I felt so strange to the hand it's no longer the warm hand i hold when i was young though has the same roughness.
Emergency room don't look like emergency room i saw from the Discovery prgramme (ER). Doctor didn't attend to me dad immediately, only a male nurse come over to him into a wheel chair. His too weak to walk by his own. I left him aside. Register him and checking with the nurse at the counter for his turn. " He Fell from the wheelchair to the floor. Why am i so careless! i should have stay with him.
Doctor soon appear after that, pushing him into observation room. Leaving me in the hall to wait. Only knowing that the doctor will attend to him asap and get him injection to stop the pain. A nurse told me it's fine suspected that a stone inside him causing the pain. Times crawl by i see no sight of him. I don't wish to think towards the bad way. I try to contact the outside world. Mom:" it's fine dear u are brave." LinYun, she didn't answer the call cause she got hot stroke and went to bed early. Guofeng, don't know she slp or not. Laoye: his sick recently,don't wish to disturb him. Fuchang, answer me and talk to me till the battery flat and till he walk out from the observation room by his own.
Thanks Fuchang. i don't know how to express me gratitue towards YOU. Thanks!Dad's fine. They prescripted drugs ( pain killer) for him. Arrange him for a check-up on wedensday. Now dad's still in pain. I truely hope it's no as pain as last night. His drugs is running low fast. I just did what mom told me.
i'm really useless the porridge i cook for dad keep turning up to be burnt. it's the third time i try since 3 hours ago.Dad please standby me again, i cannot stand and face the world without YOU.
Posted by beetle at 9:26 AM
i got a job
Sunday, May 07, 2006
i'll be working at raffles city shoppin centre soon at the ice-cream store. Haagen-Dazs will be the place i work as part-timer for.. i hepe i'll have a great experience there. people there looks very lovely and kind. i'll be startin on next week.
PAP won the election hahaha~~~ expected ya~~~ hurray.. PAP always rock... so far they are the best party i ever see. ( correct me if i'm wrong cos i just develop the interest towards politics. )
i read a book by my favorite writer Danielle Steel last week. the title of the book is Second Chance, it's really a fantastic book. i like the way D.S. describe the relationships between human and the climates she create in the story. all of these songs so real to me. wonderful! the best phase i like in the book is said by the female charater stella ( sorry if i made mistake for her name, i got goldfish's memory :P ) to male character John. it goes like this : "Why spend thirty years with someone who make you uncomfortable, in order not to be alone when you get old!" i'm crazy over this phase sia~~~ it's damn cool. i love it to the core.
Posted by beetle at 7:09 AM